Protected: Heartbroken

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Ohhh New York!!

Sooooo the time is coming…less than a month I will be going to Connecticut and New York with gman….funnnn stuff right? Hell yes. The statue of liberty, ground zero, times square!! Awesome….except for I am scared shitless. Again here comes this problem that I have with anxiety.
Gman told me that he spoke to his mom today and that she had some sort of talk with him….he says it was just about how she doesn’t want him out drinking and staying out late when he comes home…. sounds reasonable…my mom would probably be the same way. But then he says that she wants us to sleep in seperate rooms….again….fine…reasonable enough. But just the way he said it and how he approached the situation makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable about it all. Im going to see if I can fly into an airport in NYC instead of CT. That would make me a hell of a lot more quaint with this trip. I want to have fun…I want to relax. I deserve this, I haven’t had as much as a day off in the past 2 months…I go to school 2 days a week and go to work the other 5. Let me just clarify…I’m not complaining…I understand that I have chosen this path…I am just explaining my schedule at the moment. I need a fucking break!!! And if im stressed out the whole time because I am worried about his mom not being ok with it, then I won’t have a good time and I have just wasted so much time and so much money. Gahhhhh

I know…I just need to talk to him about it. I just wish it wasn’t like this. I am going to see if I can change my flight to nyc airport and just let him know after I do it!!

Sex me up please!

Ok! So I am all moved in, despite a few boxes and some things that need to be moved to storage, I am happy! I like it here…it feels a lot homier than my old place!

My dad helped me on moving day and without him I would have been overloaded and very stressed. Thank GOD for my daddy!! 🙂 He really did a lot more than I could have ever asked!

I also bought a TV from Best Buy because the ex took my old TV.

Also, I have been reading some blogs and most of the blogs I follow have something to do with sex…and I get horny, and that’s where I stand right now…I want to have sex and gman is working until 9. Work is so frustrating sometimes. Gman bought me this cute little Droid(I’m a geek, I know 🙂 ) for no reason at all! This is what I fucking want!! He is perfect. He is always there to listen to me… I am so incredibly happy with him and I am sooooo happy I have him right now. Although I talk alot about missing my ex, I know me being with gman is right. I can feel it…I am actually happy. He actually listens to me, tries to help me fix my problems, he tells me when I am being bratty about something that I am complaining about. I can actually have an intellectual conversation with him,  but then we can have a completely childish and silly conversation…. he is absolutely flawless! 🙂

The Gilmore Girls is a great show! I want to be like Lorelai! She is beautiful, independent, witty and has a very intelligent and witty daughter(who I like alot too!!)

And now this is just getting random….I’m going to stop!!

Ohhh and  I will be going to a baseball game this weekend. Its my college versus gman’s college! Woot Woot!!

And I also tried to load a super sexy picture to this post, but it never loads…I swear I am very tech savvy but this website just seems to always win! :/

Protected: Moving day ! / :(

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Protected: Exes and ohhhhh’s

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Search Terms

Here are some search terms that people have used to find my blog:

penis sex     10

man inserting penis into womans vagina     3

penis in school teen boys     3

sorry boys I have an amazing boyfriend     2

sexy sadist cock ring     2

penis of boys with sex      2

 

hmmm you people are weird…especially the 3 people that looked for “penis in school teen boys”… I have never said anything about teen school boys…nor will I ever…because that’s gross and ILLEGAL

 

Just thought I would share this…I got a kick out of seeing what words people use to find my blog!

 

Quickie

Gman and I went to the zoo today in a city about an hour away from where I live…. It was amazing…the whole day, once we got back into town we went to Red’s Icehouse (for some crablegs!) and then came back to my place to watch tv for a little bit!! I had soo much fun with him and I am soooo fucking happy to be with him! I’m glad I have him and I can spend as much time as I do with him! He is so perfect in every single way. I really hope this works out!!! I really hope his stupid ex and my stupid jealousy don’t ruin this for me!

I also look back on some of the post I have been writing and a lot of it is about me liking girls…and I kind of feel bad for leaving gman (who is a HUGE part of my life right now) out of the mix. Everything is PERFECT with him…in the bed and out and I want to stress that as much as possible!!

Am I a lesbian!?!


When I watch porn I prefer to watch girl on girl and I really like when a guy is eating a girl out. That gets me going more than anything!! Does this make me bi-sexual??

Gman and I went to a concert this Saturday at a place called The Pour House on James Island. We got a couple drinks  and we were just listening to some good music (Jeff Coffin from Dave Matthews Band was playing) and dancing around a little bit. There was this girl who was slightly intoxicated and she was really getting into the music. She had brown hair and she was BEAUTIFUL (the girl from the neurobiology class still has me…but this girl totally would have done the job)…let me remind you that I have never done 1 thing with a girl, but lately I have been really feeling more drawn to initiating a threesome with gman!

DISCLAIMER: Penis will always be my favorite…just trying to be a little more adventurous.

On a non-sexual note, I just played soccer tonight after 3 years of not even touching a soccer ball. major FAIL….I was exhausted after about 5 minutes, and don’t get me wrong, the people that were also playing weren’t amazing or anything, but it’s uber frustrating when you know your potential and just keep fucking everything up. I played soccer for about 11 years of my life and am not a star but I know the game…..OH well….guess I’ll be practicing more in the coming weeks! YIPPPEEEE

Gman really does make me sooo happy. I love being with him more than anything. He is such an nice guy and tries so hard to be nice to me, think of me when hes doing stuff(getting lunch, coffee in the mornings, etc)…I’m getting over the ex stuff with him more and more everyday. I feel like if I am jealous about it and complain about shit all the time then it will only make him resent me and possibly not want to even be with me because I can’t accept the fact that he talks to his ex. If he wanted to be with her then he would have done so within the past 2 years….and he didn’t, so I need to trust him and his decisions. I need to put myself in his shoes, but on the same note he needs to put himself in my shoes every once in a while too…I get jealous and that’s a completely natural reaction to have…I just need to control it!!

Here’s to sexy time, anxiety and happiness!!

So if you guys don’t think I’m bipolar…then there is something wrong with YOU! 🙂 My last post was an angry rant of mine in which I sounded completely disgusted with the situation between gman and I.

We talked about this AGAIN and hopefully this will not be a problem ever again.

Gman’s birthday was on Friday and we went out on Saturday. I was a mess beforehand because all I could think about was meeting his friends at dinner and then some more friends later that night at the bars. Despite my anxiety, It def was a success! I had a blast and I can’t wait to do it again! All of his friends were very nice to me and it was awesome! Also his ex girlfriend did not show up, which was even better.

We also took a couple minute trip to the bathroom and had a little fun! WOO HOOO. All the entries on my  little life list I have going might get crossed off before I know it!!

After the bar that night we went back to his place, on the ride home I was driving and he kept kissing and touching me and even unbuttoned my pants….when we walked in his house, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other and barely made it upstairs, well we actually left almost all our clothes downstairs. I wasn’t thinking his roomie was coming back but apparently she had the same ideas we had! She came home to discover us having sex upstairs in gman’s bedroom and all of our clothes scattered downstairs. Her and her man actually had sex in her room right next to gman’s while we were having sex too…that’s fucking sexy if you ask me. Not to mention I had bruises all over my legs and arms from us. 😀

So I know the time is coming for gman to meet my parents and where they live and all that good stuff. I am sooo excited about this, I can’t wait for him to meet everyone. I think everyone will like him so much and they will all get along very well. There is one thing that I am so insecure about and have been since I can remember. Since I have had the same bf since high school I really didn’t have to worry about this, I  grew up with him and I have had all the same friends since middle/high school. There is no reason I should be insecure about this and there really is no reason I should even care what other people think. But I do and I am. My parents live in a city of Charleston that is known as “upscale” or where people with money live….and this is true. somewhat. My parents are not rich, nor are we “upscale” by any means. We don’t have a membership to a country club, I don’t have a trust fund, my parents don’t have multiple houses and cars, hell my parents haven’t even given me any money since I was probably 15. My mom just got a job at a local police department to be a 911 dispatcher and my dad owns his own contracting business. My parents live in a double wide trailer, and its not a trashy double wide…it has hardwood floors inside and they have painted and redone all the bathrooms. They keep it clean and its not the typical “trailer” that you think about. I feel like I am being so superficial thinking the way that I do and worrying about minuscule things like this…. I also think, Oh if anyone else doesn’t like me or judges me based on this thing then they aren’t worth being my friend, they aren’t worth my time. But I like gman and I don’t want something like this to fuck it all up. This is also something that is super awkward for me to talk about…how do I bring this up, how do i start this conversation, is this even a conversation that needs to be discussed? I should not be ashamed of where I live, have lived or where my parents live. My parents are amazing people and if they are happy, then I should be happy! This should not bother me…but it does! 😦

“I like waking up to you….and going to bed next to you”-gman