I want….

so this will be a completely narcissistic post about what I want in my life….right now.

I want…..

To be happy

People to stop talking shit about me and my life decisions. I got yet another phone call today about how shitty of a person I am. :/

To finish my undergrad

To get my dog back (This is the one that I truly want the most right now. The ex has the dog and I am probably never going to get him back.)

Buy a T.V for my room and use the mount that I purchased Black Friday to hang it on the wall.

To have an orgasm with g-man. I have done it alone about 2 times, but I just cant seem to do it with him. It’s definitely not due to a lack of pleasure though.

To move to a country where they speak Spanish so I can improve my skills

Home-made cookies

To be able to watch CSI or Law and Order shows at night when I am home alone without getting scared πŸ™‚

To hit my quota at work this month so I can get a decent paycheck. Money stresses me out all the time. It shouldn’t, but especially now since I don’t have someone there to split the cost of rent and utilities.

Sex

New living room furniture

Sex swing

Some beautiful jewelry

To get good grades in my classes this semester (and by good I mean A’s and B’s) school is very important to me, and last semester because of work and my lack of time management skills I fell off a little bit. I learned sooo much but it just wasn’t represented on the tests. 😦

To start going to the gym again, at least 4 times a week.

 

That’s it for now. I know I want more things but I must be conservative and I cant think of anything else!!

Am I that hard to please? I don’t think so. πŸ™‚

 

I am thinking about Valentine’s Day coming up (I know, its super far away, but this is what my mind does…constantly thinking), and this year it’s going to suck 😦 I know I will be alone, and I would not dare talk to g-man about doing something that day…I don’t want to freak him out and I’m pretty sure Valentine’s Day is like a sacred love holiday(?) Although I would really love to do something with him…I don’t want to be hopeful. And plus if we did do something I would feel obligated to get him something…and I have NO fucking clue what to get him. I don’t even know what we are. I guess good friends? good friends who have sex? Is this a friends with benefits situation that I have heard so many of my friends talk about?? Am I that girl?!?! Oh My God.

In the past when I was with the Ex it wasn’t like we did anything on Valentine’s Day and he never even got me anything, so I guess I don’t know what I am unhappy about. I just want someone to want me I guess. :-/ I want someone to be excited about hanging out with me. I want someone that randomly gets me things(nothing expensive, i’m not picky or hard to please). I’m talking candy bar status. I WANT SOMEONE TO BE NICE TO ME FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON AT ALL!!!

I have never received flowers from anyone but my father. (Ok so I lied a little, The ex gave me flowers on my 21st birthday and that’s it.) Is that superficial to want flowers? I’m not asking for a $100 bouquet. If they are hand picked and tied together with fishing line…that would be ok with me!!

 

It’s the thought that counts and the little things that matter to me.

 

Maybe I am too much of a girl, maybe there is no such thing as guys who do these things. Maybe I am asking for too much. Maybe I will never find what I want. Maybe I will. Maybe I don’t even know what I want.

 

If I had the chance to move away right now, I would do it. I want to take a boat….to the end of the world.(I’m listening to dmb as I ramble and just write what pops into my head)

 

My posts will get not so emo soon…I swear. The last couple of months have been kind of difficult for me, and I am trying to snap out of it!! I am working on it! πŸ™‚

 

F.Y.I. I would marry Dave Matthews, Jack Johnson or John Mayer in a skinny little minute if I had the chance!!!

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Taylor
    Jan 21, 2011 @ 09:12:31

    It’s been over a week since I’ve had sex. I’m DYYYINNGGG. And I can relate with the school thing as well, I’m trying to do really good this semester. I might as well, I’m paying for it, yknow?

    Reply

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